All or Nothing Thinking
Cognitive Distortion #1
Many of us engage in what is labeled as cognitive distortions. This distortions are defined as “internal filters or biases that negatively impact our life” according to Harvard.
I have dealt with many cognitive distortions throughout my life and have found that learning about them dramatically improves our ability to deal with them.
Most people are not even aware they using these frameworks, but recognizing them is helpful to avoiding them or at least minimizing their impact.
Defining Black and White Thinking
Black and White thinking refers to a tendency to think in extremes. For example:
I am perfect at what I do
I am horrible at what I do
I will never be alone
I will always be alone
Now having these thoughts is normal, but what characterizes it as a distortion is when our thinking only operates at the extremes.
For example, if over the course of a year I go through several periods of thinking I am excelling at my career, and then several periods of thinking I am tanking my career with no middle ground in between— I would be exhibiting a cognitive distortion.
The Real Danger of Black and White Thinking
The trouble with this type of thinking pattern is that it often invades all aspects of our lives: relationships, career, health etc
A common pitfall is seen in people trying to get back into shape. They will often make some initial progress, but then if it ever stalls or they cheat a couple days— they might react by saying:
“I will never be fit”
The more we exercise this thinking, the more likely it is that we will use this framework in the future.
This will keep us flip flopping between periods of extreme happiness and extreme sadness.
Ways to Overcome the Extremes
I have found several tools that help eliminate this type of thinking:
- Listing options: instead of only considering the extremes, write down a list of all the potential outcomes/options for a given situation
- Realizing the Spectrum: this is a framework that understands most things in life are plotted somewhere on a spectrum from very bad to very good. Instead of only considering the ends, identify that there is a middle that exists
- Separating who you are from what you do: this is a framework that separates our innate value from what we and our actions. Everyone makes mistakes, but these do not define who we are.
The real key to success with black and white thinking is identifying when we have fallen into one of these patterns.
Then realizing that nothing in life is all or nothing. There is most likely a middle ground to achieve.
Stay safe friends and good luck out there. I know you all are going to crush it 💪